Reno the Bigshot
by Vampire Turk
Summary: songfic to Billy Joel's Bigshot.


Elena grimaced, pulling the bed covers over her head. She groaned, shifting away from the window.

"Great . . ." Dressed in typical pajamas, she blonde slowly sat up, the blanket slowly falling off her disheveled bed-head hair. She sighed, forcing herself out of bed to start a morning routine.

"I wonder how Reno's doing this morning."

**You went uptown riding in your limousine  
In your fine Park Avenue clothes  
You had the Dom Perignon in your hand  
And the spoon up your nose**

In another room, an alarm clock continued to buzz, until a curled fist shot out from a covered lump on the bed and shattered the device into a crushed electrical device. A loud curse was heard from the before-mentioned lump, as a redhead with blood-shot eyes popped his head through the covers.

The redhead groaned, dropping his head against his pillow, knocking the destroyed alarm clock off the counter and making a louder sound that made him swear profusely. His hand clasped his forehead, whining from the throbbing pounding in his temples.

"Damn . . . not again . . ."

**And when you wake up in the morning  
With your head on fire  
And your eyes too bloody to see  
Go on and cry in your coffee  
But don't come bitchin' to me**

Reno closed his eyes, trying to fall back asleep, but he felt unusually ill. He bolted up, a hand clasped over his mouth, and rushed into the bathroom faster that a normal person.

Elena caught a glimpse of her scantily-clad teammate as the door slammed shut and shook her head.

"Reno, you idiot . . . I knew this would be a bad day."

**Because you had to be a big shot  
didn't you  
You had to open up your mouth  
You had to be a big shot  
didn't you  
All your friends were so knocked out  
You had to have the last word  
last night  
You know what everything's about  
You and to have a white hot spotlight  
You had to be a big shot last night**

Elena could hear the heaving sound from the bathroom, knowing exactly what sort of bad morning this was turning out to be. It was almost routine - Reno would get himself so drunk he wouldn't remember anything the next day, and when the morning came he'd start whining and complaining about his hangover. She knew what it felt like to be drunk. It wasn't like she'd never gotten wasted to the point of memory loss. Unlike the redhead however, she was smart enough to not let it happen over and over again.

Last night, however, Reno hogged the spotlight in his druken stupor and even got a bit of money out of it. Though it was amusing, the blonde knew he was going to get the worst hangover of his life.

**They were all impressed with your Halston dress  
And the people you knew at Elaine's  
And the story of your latest success  
Kept 'em so entertained**

Reno stepped out of the bathroom and plopped on the couch, stretched out while keeping a hand against his forehead. Elena sighed, quietly walking over to get the ibuprofen and a glass of water.

". . . I did something stupid again, didn't I?"

**But now you just can't remember  
All the things you said  
And you're not sure you want to know  
I'll give you one hint  
honey  
You sure did put on a show**

The blonde considered chuckling, but kept it to herself. "Stating the obvious again, huh Reno?"

Reno grimaced wincing. "Whatever . . ." He forced himself to sit up, shutting his eyes.

"You don't sleep in much, do you?" The redhead forced a chuckle. He was wearing boxers and nothing more.

"Eh, you like it, don't cha, Laney?" Elena's eyes narrowed irritably, placing the full glass of water and the bottle of ibuprofen on the table.

He was less annoying and answered questions easier when intoxicated.

**Yes  
yes  
you had to be a big shot  
didn't you  
You had to prove it to the crowd  
You had to be a big shot  
didn't you  
All your friends were so knocked out  
You hand to the last word  
last night  
You're so much fun to be around  
You had to have the front page  
bold type  
You had to be a big shot last night**

"Reno, do you really want to know what happened last night?"

The redhead's gaze flickered from the open bottle in his hand to the blonde's face. "Was it something I'm gonna regret doing?"

"Well . . ." Elena made sure she picked her words carefully. "You had a lot to drink, including mine, which I hadn't even taken a sip of, and some of the bar patrons' as well, since they were willing to buy you a drink after . . ." she cleared her throat, "your little . . . dress-down. . . "

**Well  
it's no big sin to stick your two cents in  
If you know when to leave it alone  
But you went over the line  
You couldn't see it was time to go home**

Reno blinked. "My what?" He had just swallowed down four ibuprofen with a long drink of water.

"Your dress-down . . ." Elena grimaced, swallowing nervously. "To make it simpler, you were drunk enough to take off various articles of clothing while dancing to the song "I'm Too Sexy'. " The blonde stopped to keep herself from smirking or smiling in front of Reno. "You bet 50 gil that you could strip off your shirt and perform some sort of sexy walk on the bar counter without falling from your drunken ambling."

**you had to be a big shot  
didn't you  
You had to open up your mouth  
You had to be a big shot  
didn't you  
All your friends were so knocked out**

Reno's face went pale. ". . . You're kidding, right?"

**You had to have the last word  
last night  
So much fun to be around  
You had to have a white hot spotlight  
You had to be a big shot last night**

Elena shook her head. "That's basically what happened. And, because of that, Rufus and Tseng aren't very happy with you."

The redhead groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "Oh fuck . . ."


End file.
